How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others and Be Your Best Self

Today, it’s easy to look inside everyone’s life. Social media has enabled us to keep tabs on our friends, strangers, and celebrities, seeing their whereabouts, accomplishments, and highlight reels. Having this much visibility into others’ lives can oftentimes make us feel bad about what we’re not doing and put pressure on us to do more. But you don’t have to feel this way, and we can provide tips on how to stop comparing yourself to others and be your best self.

Self-Esteem and How it Affects Us

Self-esteem is the overall sense of value, confidence, respect, and worth that one has about their being. There are many different factors that shape and influence one’s self-esteem.

When we’re living our lives on autopilot, it can be difficult to recognize how some of these factors play an integral part in how we view ourselves, the thoughts we have, and the perceptions of ourselves that we’ve formed. These factors include experiences at home, school, work, your age, the relationships you’re in, status—and the one that seems to be most popular, social media.

Meet Yourself: A User’s Guide to Building Self-Esteem – TEDxYouth

As the popular saying goes, comparison is the thief of joy. Comparing yourself to others will happen. We’re human and imperfect, so there will be days where you have a not-so-nice thought about yourself or compare yourself to someone or something else. But there are tips on how to practice self-love and cultivate a positive mindset while navigating through this.

Tips on How to Be Your Best Self

Again, not every day will be perfect, and sometimes it can be challenging to love yourself when you’re feeling down, but there are practices to keep you encouraged. The most important relationship is the one that you’ll have with yourself, and it’s essential that you keep pursuing and providing yourself with what you need. Let’s look at some practices you can adopt to help with gratitude and live a happy life.

Change the Language You Use

We all mess up. It’s only natural. But sometimes, our mistakes begin to control us, and we talk down on ourselves, forgetting all the good about us. Next time you’re tempted to talk to yourself poorly or use language that isn’t very helpful, try reframing it and how you speak. For example, instead of saying, “I am going to fail,” instead say, “I will try my best and know there’s a possibility for me to succeed.” This helps you see the other side of what’s possible, rather than only the negative.

mentor teacher worker talk to female colleague teach intern discussing new skills learning sit
We all mess up, it’s only natural (Image Source: Shutterstock)

Identify What You’re Good at

Get a piece of paper or take out your phone to make a list. On this list, write out everything you’re good at. This is a great way to highlight your achievements and reestablish your passions and what’s important to you.

After you make that list and see all of how you’re talented, use those core skills and gifts throughout your day to find opportunities. Emphasizing these skills will help you see how much further you can go and just how much you truly provide and are capable of.

Celebrate the Small Wins

Don’t wait until a big accomplishment to celebrate yourself. When you write out your small wins, you gain a clearer picture of how much you do daily. This can go far beyond what you achieve at work and your personal wins. For instance, write it down if you struggle with saying no but exercise times throughout the day or week where you upheld your boundaries. Nothing is too small to note, and you should acknowledge what you can.

woman celebrate success or happy
Nothing is too small to note (Image Source: Shutterstock)

Surround Yourself with Positive People

There are people in your corner who believe in you and think highly of you. When those friends tell you how great you are, try your best to hear them and believe them. Your closest friends or support system wouldn’t go out of their way to lie to you. Allow them to give you compliments and lift you up without deflecting. Use those words as reminders of how special you are. And when you have the chance, take a moment to encourage your friends! Reciprocity is important, and as you need support, so do the ones you love.

Building your self-esteem doesn’t happen overnight. It’s something gradual that requires work and time. Some days might be hard, but working to love yourself is worth it. You have many great qualities and so much goodness inside of you. Don’t dim that.